I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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