hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
