Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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