The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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