this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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