So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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