We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
