I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
