I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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