In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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