i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
