Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
