dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
