can u get pink eye on your cock?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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