break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize