dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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