Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
