Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
