new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
