either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
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