he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
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some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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