Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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