I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
