I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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