Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
