But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
