I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it because I queefed?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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