do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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