Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
