Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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