i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
