Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
