I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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