I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize