Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
3 2 1 whiskey
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
