You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
