I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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