Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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