i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
