The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
A+ Viking dick
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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