Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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