Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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