how can u be prego again
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have