Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night