it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Two words: blizzard sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?