we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus