He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on