I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
