watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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