She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize