Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
