she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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