im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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