I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
