I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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