He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
