just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
