Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Operation Purity has been aborted
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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