I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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