i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
the liver wants what the liver wants
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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