I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
