I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
