She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world