dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I bet he comes in French.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?