You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
why didn't you poke me back
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
3pm strippers are depressing
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?