i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize