I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
