But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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