Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
