I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
