I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize